Thursday, April 02, 2009

Blooming Late by Little Bites of Heaven


Go be that starving artist you’re afraid to be. Open up that journal and get poetic finally. Volunteer. Suck it up and travel. You were not born here to work and pay taxes. You were put here to be part of a vast organism to explore and create. Stop putting it off. The world has much more to offer than what’s on 15 televisions at TGI Fridays. Take pictures. Scare people. Shake up the scene. Be the change you want to see in the world. You’ll thank yourself for it. {Jason Mraz}
I love quotes. The one above is my latest discovery + in it, I find motivation + inspiration. It speaks volumes; encouraging me to continue on a journey that I began nearly 2 years ago.
It took me a long time to figure out who I wanted to become. It wasn't until I was pregnant with the triplets and had been admitted to the hospital for preterm labor that I even began to dig deep enough to actually discover myself. I had wasted so much time worried about who I thought I was supposed to be that by the time I had turned 30, I had only begun to scratch the surface of me. I was not completely out of touch with my inner voice; I just chose to ignore it and instead listen to something else.
I spent 8 weeks lying in a hospital bed, unable to get up to do anything other than go to the bathroom, so…I had a lot of time to think. I thought about my babies, worried that I wouldn't make it far enough in my pregnancy to ensure their survival; I thought about my daughter + husband, at home 45 minutes away; I thought about how uncomfortable + lonely I was; I thought about how those 3 little ones were worth all of that discomfort. And when the present became too exhausting to think about any longer, I thought about my life + my direction. It certainly was not that I was unhappy; but in a way, I did feel unfulfilled. Sort of like a ship afloat in the ocean with no sail or oars, no contact with the shore; just drifting along with nowhere to go, nowhere to be really. The thing that surprised me was that I used to be happy that way, living a life with no real direction. I suppose it is because I did not have to experience the downs of life, the heartache that comes with trying something new and reaching for a dream. Instead, I could laze about + rest happily on an even keel.
But I also unknowingly missed the ups of life + the joy that comes with trying something new and reaching for a dream. And as I was lying there in that hospital bed, I realized I wanted more; more from myself, more from life. It took me another 7 or 8 months before I was able to take the leap of faith and begin a new journey, my journey. Part of it was the family I had at home to care for, 3 premature infants + a pre-teen who loves sports kept me quite busy {and still do}. However… mostly, it was because I was finally ready to learn how to silence the voice that I had mistakenly listened to for so long. I chose to embrace the fear and get out there to finally do what I was afraid to do.
Photographs have always intrigued me; I admire the artistic creations + have a yearning to capture my own. Yet, despite my desire, I had no knowledge of how to accomplish that. So my first step on this journey was to buy a camera, read some books on photography + begin taking pictures. While I still have much to learn, today I am proud to feel comfortable enough with my work to call myself a photographer.
I find it ironic that it took something that immobilized me to get me mobilized, working towards creating goals for myself and then actually achieving them. It is a slow process, me in the works, but I am happy that instead of forgetting, I still am working on becoming who I want to be.
I may be a late bloomer, but it is better than not blooming. Rachael - Little Bites of Heaven

32 comments:

Deb said...

this is such an inspirational post! you should be so proud of yourself!

April said...

Congratulations on finding your way! Way to go...I wish you the very best!

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

What a wonderful post - and a wonderful lesson!! What better time to be mobilized than when you have four young ones to teach and inspire!!
oh and...
You do take amazing pictures!!

Kristin said...

Thanks for this post, Rachael! I love your pictures and you encourage me daily with your talent and your words!

Jen said...

Great post, Rachael.

Lolli said...

Oh my goodness!! This post sounds like it could have been written by me! I more-than-relate. Photography has saved me. I've found myself in photography. I can't wait to check out your blog!

Parenthood For Me said...

Glad you made the revelation. I found as I turned 30 and adopted my son that my life has exploded into living dreams I've had for a long time. I am a writer and plan on self publishing this year. WE only get one life and even though you have your handsful, you're living it for you too.

Barely Domestic Mama said...

What a great guest post. I am a late bloomer and just starting to explore. I love that you said it is better to bloom late, than not blooming at all.

Ronda's Rants said...

I think we have many different "blooming" times in our lives! I had one when I turned 50 and began a different part of my life...Life really is happening all around us!
Great post...it has made me think!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

What a wonderful and thought provoking post...congrats on 'finding your way'! :)

Amy said...

Wow what a powerful post. That is nice to see that you can really make it through anything.

Jenners said...

This was a wonderful post...and speaks to so many women (and men) I think. Good for you for finding your dream and reaching for it!

Allison said...

great post and how great that you are FB on SITS on the very same day! Luck has sure found you! Many blessings, my friend.

Sharon said...

Great post! I know I need to sit down and figure out what I want to be when I "grow up". I've very wary of the unknown...and I need to overcome that and find something I love to do!

Kelly Deneen said...

This is such a wonderful post to read! You are right - we are not meant to just work to pay bills and get by. There is more for us out there. We need to love our lives. I need to figure out what I love now. :)

T Rex Mom said...

Thank you for your post - I know there are many of us "late bloomers" who can relate to your words. Thanks for sharing.

BoufMom9 said...

Rachael,
You know that I love your honesty and your beautiful heart! thank you for sharing with the world :)

Blessings!

Elaine A. said...

It's amazing what we can find out about ourselves when we have the time to really "dig deep." Glad you had that opportunity, even if you were on bedrest! : )

Robin said...

It's never too late.
Wonderful post.....
Best wishes in all you do.
And have a beautiful day too....

Following Him said...

So proud of you Rachel...that truly touched my heart! Thanks for sharing!!!
~Elyse~

Michelle said...

Rachel, that was a lovely post and I think you can safely call yourself a photographer.

brunger bunch said...

I sooo needed that right now. Great inspiration. Thanks, and congrats to you!!

Live.Love.Eat said...

So so awesome Rachael!!!!! I love that we both had a guest post in the inspiration category! I think it's wonderful that you have your photography and you're keeping up with it! This is a timely post for me as I am about to embark on something as well that will make me more fulfilled. Come by tomorrow when I let the cat out of the bag :) Thank you for the confirmation that I need to do what I am about to.

Mark and Kiss said...

I love that you acted on your desires, I often get great aspirations, but procrastinate my actions. Something that I will constantly be working on....

I loved the post!

Kally said...

What a beautiful post. So inspiring!

Jessica :) said...

This is an inspirational post - and it's good to be reminded that our lives need direction and fulfillment. It's easy for me to forget that. I'm already an avid reader of "Little Bites" and I just love it. I'm constantly inspired. Thank you!

Poetry Sue said...

Hooray! for blooming!

Modest Gal said...

Thank you for the inspiration!

MoziEsmé said...

I had a tough time turning 35 this last year - it seemed like such a big milestone and I've got so much I haven't even started to do yet. I guess it's never too late to start!

Casey's trio said...

So glad to have found Rachael in the bloggy world!

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

Rachael - very beautiful . . welcome guest poster

Veggie Mom said...

Well, I'm older than practically all of you combined (metaphorically speaking, anyway), and I still haven't achieved all my goals. I've made a significant dent, though!