We're 1 1/2 years old!

It's been almost two years since I saw two little heads on the Ultra Sound Machine and heard the news that would rock our world. We made it through a precarious monoamniotic pregnancy and premature birth and here we are 18 months after their birth shaking our heads wondering where the time went. Those 2 1/2 months I spent in the hospital or the past year or more? Gone in the blink of an eye.



A few hours before their birth at 33 weeks gestation.

Daddy holding Jacob and John. We were so excited to be able to hold our little peanuts before they were whisked off to the NICU. If you look closely, you can see how pale Jacob is (left) compared to John (right). They thought they might have started TTTS.

John (Baby B)

4 lbs. 4 oz.

John: 24 lbs. even=25th%

31 inches=25th%

19 inches head circumference= 60th%

Jacob (Baby A)

4 lbs. 5 oz.

Jacob: 24 lbs. 4 oz.=25th%

32 inches long=almost 50th%

19 inches head circumference= 60th%

Oh, and thanks to Leslie for outfitting the boys in swim suits and matching board tops for the summer.

Jacob left, John right

John left, Jacob right

Jacob and John

Jacob and John

These are some of the things the boys can do:

*put their legs and arms in clothing thus helping to get dressed.

*obey simple commands like "go get your shoes", or "go give this to Grace".

*learning about feelings. If the other cries they will try to comfort each other.

*beginning to learn to share!

*feed themselves with a fork (however, they're not ready to give up their bottles).

*John is the master of making sounds and words. He has about a 20 word vocabulary, but to hear him "talk", you'd think he has his own language

*Jacob is the master of expression. He makes the funniest faces. Jeff can say, "Tiki, are you mad at me?" and he makes this mad face. It kills me every time.

*And my favorite: if I ask the boys if they are poopy they tell me the truth; either looking at me blankly or saying, "unhuh" and touching their diaper.

*Jacob thinks he can jump. He picks one foot up and stomps it as he swivels around. Hilarious.

*Both boys have 10 teeth each.

*Jacob like to eat most foods. John likes to eat cookies and ice cream but likes to snub his nose at anything else.

*run and climb and get into all manner of mischief.

*did I mention that they are the best huggers and kissers? And do it willingly on demand.

Getting out the door

Sunday. My Sunday alone with the kids. No water. It's turned off at the meter. The leak somewhere between the house and the water meter had to happen on a holiday weekend. No plumber until Tuesday. I'm proud of myself. We're all dressed and ready to go!

John, me, Emma and Jacob. So apropos. Everyone looking a different direction...can't say this one wasn't candid!

John and me. Thought to self. "This is the the last picture and it better be good!"

Is Emma's look priceless, or what?

Jeff works every other Sunday. That means every other Sunday I have no help getting all the kids to church. This is a glimpse of what we look like trying to get out the door on one of those Sundays when Jeff is working. First of all, our church starts at 2 pm. That means I have to wake the twins up from their nap and feed them before we leave. While I was feeding the twins, Grace was busy snapping pictures, and Emma and Garrett were clowning around asking the question Grace taught them. "Are we going to be late?" In case you're wondering, YES! we were late. But usually we're not.

I remember

Memorial Day. A day to remember. Here's to a few of those who have touched my life but aren't here to tell them.

My mom: I remember her reading me "The Old Hags Long Leather Bag" over and over again on the floor of my grandma's walk in closet which was my absolute favorite place to nap.

My Grandma Williams: I remember the excitement and anticipation I felt everytime a letter came for me in the mail. She was the best pen pal ever.

My Grandpa Williams: I remember going to the swap meet with him when he was blind and helping him buy a pair of paint splattered sunglasses. We got home and he told my grandma solemnly, "I had an accident". I guess you'd have to have been there, but I'll never forget the picture of my tall, skinny grandpa with his red tipped white cane wearing sunglasses that he didn't need that were paint splattered and enjoying the joke.

My great-grandma Funk: I remember spending the night at her house on the twin bed next to hers. Staying up late watching the news, playing with her amazing rocks and waking up to a delicious breakfast.

Jeff's grandma Doris: I remember when she taught me how to make freezer jam, how to make a pillow case, and the way she laughed.

My dogs Bear and Itsy: I remember Bear putting his neck over my face and smelling his smell which I loved. I remember Itsy's sweet face and personality and the way that she got up each morning and lived as full a life as she could despite her neurological problems.

My Legacy

A friend challenged me to think about the Legacy I'll leave behind.

This is a hard one. First of all, I feel far too young to have a legacy, plus, in my own mind I haven't done anything remarkable. But, maybe someone else will think I have.

News stations actually do obits on celebrites or important political figures or just someone that has done something remarkable like winning the Nobel Peace Prize before they are dead hoping that they have footage and a leg up on the competetion when they actually do die. For example, NBC had Rose Kennedy's obit done FIFTEEN years before she actually passed away and it was updated periodically. Some random person had the responsibility of digging through archives, newpaper clippings, sound and media clips and photographs and putting together the legacy that the public will see. I shudder to think what my obituary would play like if some random person was responsible for putting it together. They could never know the emotions and feeling that I've put into the things that are important to me. If a sensationalist wrote my obit it would probably read something like this:

Born on April Fool's day in a snow storm on the side of the road and delivered by her father. Lost her mother to a violent death almost to the day she was born 8 years later. Married, graduated from college, and went on to have 5 children, 2 of which were a rare form of twins. I don't want to think of anything else sensational to end this one.

I think the one that someone who loved me would write would read something like this:
Made her way into the world with black eyes after her roadside delivery by her father. Was heartbroken when her mother died when she was young. Married her high school sweet heart, graduated from college and raised 5 children in a loving and organized home. Spent two and a half months in the hospital before delivering self coined miracle twins. Enjoyed volunteer work and serving in her church. (NOW here is my insert of goals and things I hope to achieve). Earned her Master's degree in Archaeology after her children went to school, travelled extensively with her family and was a loving and devoted wife.

Looks like I have some goals to keep!

I hope that my legacy also contains some of the things that my grandma and mothers do. Hard working, caring, devoted and always trying to be a better person spiritually, mentally, and intellectually. I have work to do in the physically department, but if I can take cues from my grandma then maybe one day I'll be in excellent physical condition!

And the funnest room in the house is.......

Jacob and John have found their new favorite spot in the house. The office. They can't get enough of it. It has the magnetic pull of a toilet. Anyone with toddlers knows what I'm talking about. I think they used to dream about all the things they could put in the toilet and planned ways to slip into the bathroom undetected. Now I'm convinced they wake up thinking of all the havoc they can wreak on the computer, and are just waiting for the right moment to push everything from the desk. New note to self. Keep the office door shut.
John with phone, Jacob pushing things off the desk, Garrett supervising.

This picture really illustrates the differences in the boys personalities. Jacob will stop whatever he's doing to smile and make a silly face, even though he knows he's doing what he's not supposed to. John on the other hand won't look at me and continues with his trouble making. He wants to get as much fun in as possible before being removed.

Jacob can multi task. Type on the computer, talk on the phone, and balance on the chair.

Leave me alone. I'm busy.

More?

Emma and me....my favorite part though, John sneaking over to the pond to try to catch some tad poles.

Jacob and me

Love the expression on Tiki's (Jacob) face.

Can we please stay away from the pond? John is on the left, Jacob right.

I downloaded my last batch of pictures and found something amazing. More pictures of me. I'm always doing the picture taking, never the one in the photos, so this is pretty rare. Thought I'd post some of my favorites since I'm sure this won't happen again any time soon. Grace wants to be a forensic scientist when she grows up, but maybe photography will be a nice hobby? Hum.....maybe she needs a digital of her own?

Also, I've changed my settings so that you no longer need to be a "blogger" to post comments. They can be posted anonymously. Would love to hear from you.

Happy Mother's Day to me

I'm always in search of the "perfect" picture. These were taken by Grace and Emma yesterday. I think they did a great job, and to me, they're perfect. Jacob is not in any of the pictures because he was taking a nap.

Happy Mother's Day....

It's Mother's Day, and this post is for Dianne, my mother. Even though I haven't seen or touched or smelled my mother in more than 24 years, I still remember her. I get teary eyed thinking about what could have been. All the times I missed being with her, and all the times she missed physically being with us.

My mother was my world. She was kind and infinitely patient with me. She never lost her temper and always dealt with me justly. I was a lovable terror. I cried all the time if I didn't get what I wanted. This was almost always my mom. I'm not sure what endeared myself to my parents or why they didn't just lose it and beat me one day. Maybe it's because I was their baby, maybe they felt guilty about the divorse, or maybe they just knew that under neath the tantrums was a little spirit just needing to be loved. I've always known that I was loved, and I've held on to that all these years.

I wonder what memories my children will have have of me? Do they know unequivacably that I love them and would do anything for them? Will they realize that I go through each day trying to do what I can to make their day better? Sometimes I just think about my children and cry thinking about not being able to raise them. It's hard to stop crying thinking about what I'd miss without them. My children are so incredibly special to me both individually and collectively. They make my heart full. I strive to be the mother to my children that my mother was to me. I know that I fail miserable sometimes, but I try. Harder than I've tried to ever to do anything else. I've always felt like my mother was with me, and I still strive to make her proud of me. I want to replicate the wonderful things she did for me for my children. It's taken years to figure it out, but we have something in common. We both love our children with all of our hearts. I *HEART* my mom.

And to my MIL, sisters, grandma, aunts and SIL's I *HEART* you!

work, work, work....

Grace's room. The trim still needs to be painted, but at least you can get an idea how it's coming along.

Many of you know that Jeff and I have been busy doing some updates to our house. I guess it's more correct to say that Jeff has been busy doing updates and I've been busy keeping the kids out of the way and cleaning up messes. We've replaced the carpet (you should feel the new stuff we had installed. It's like heaven walking on it), replaced the hardware on all the doors with burnished bronze hinges and egg shaped knobs, replaced all the trim in the house. New baseboards, and trim around windows and doorways, finished matching the kitchen appliances in stainless steel and lastly, painted the girls rooms. For all of you that know me well know how hard this was for me. We actually let the girls choose the color for their walls, and although they don't match the warm tones in my house, the bedrooms turned out really cute. Next job....backyard. Can we say some major weeding is in order?

Ever notice?

Ever notice that when your children are getting into trouble and you take the time to get the camera to capture the moment the anger melts away? Anyone need an anger management class? Just buy a camera. Using it forces one to remove themselves from the situation for a moment and experience it for what it is. An experiment in exploration for little knowledge grabbers.

I *HEART* boys

Jacob, John and Garrett

Jacob and John

Garrett

Jacob

John

I'm not sure who originally coined this phrase, but I heart my boys. I just can't get enough of them. Even when they dig in my bedroom plant with toothbrushes. Even when Garrett sits down in a store and cries for something. Even when the twins splash in the toilet and make me want to pull my hair out. Even when Jacob vomits all over the family room....3 times. I could love them up all the time.

An "I *heart* boys" conversation:

Garrett: "daddy, I see your butt". (Jeff had just gotten out of the shower)

Jeff: "it's nice, isn't it?"

Garrett: looks at his own butt. "Daddy, do I have a nite (nice) butt, too"?

Love, love, love them.

This is what happens....

This is what happens when I take a 7 minute shower instead of my usual 3 minute shower. I guess I learned my lesson. And, did I mention that this is my brand new carpet? Uh, Lady Merriweather and Mistress Meme, I don't think you're going to want these toothbrushes anymore.