Sunday, March 29, 2009

My name is Oysterblogger and I'm an Addict

What an honor to be here because in my opinion Angie is one of those bloggers who proves time and time again to be a super groovy gal! I feel really lucky to do some ghost writing or guest writing for Angie this week while she is offline.
So If this makes you feel better before we get on with this thing lets put it all up on the table. I want you to know that I am a flawed human. Which leads me to the responsibility of proving that here and now. Here goes... I am an addict. Ok I think you've heard this before if you know me, but if this is your first time seeing my nicely crafted face, which btw does look a great deal like the real me, then I will say it again. I am an addict. I am not in a 12 step program or anything. I just torture myself with being clean and sober and then falling off the wagon. It is a sad merry-go-round ride for my friends and loved ones. They don't trust me anymore. I am on, I am off, I am on. My drug is not alcohol, its not prescription drugs, or street drugs. I am a Mormon. In fact I am probably sitting in church this very minute. But we don't do that stuff. I mean the drugs, the alcohol, the coffee... O.K. so I might be a bit hypocritical but aren't we all in some way or another? ("rationalizing" someone coughs into their hand) Just know that I am a serious respecter of persons, even with my weakness. Lets get on with this...
See if you can guess what plagues me.
ode to my addiction
i love you
i hate you
i elevate you
you tower over me
i am small
you are mighty
but not without me
you bring me along
as I carry you in my hand.
why do i torture
me
at your altar?
you are crisp
you are delicious
you taste good to me
you make me whole
for a brief moment,
then you diminish me.
your POWER consumes me
as i consume you
you are my drug
you numb me and suck all the life from me
you abide inside me
because i let you
you corrode my insides
in no time
but you make me high
you give me the energy
to clean the toilets
if i just used YOU to clean the toilets
I would be alot better off.
who do you think you are??
Or for that matter what do you think it is??
I will give you a hint:
normal spider web
caffeinated spider's web
after all this, I must know....what is your pesky little addiction?

37 comments:

Deidra said...

I love it too! I try to limit myself to 1 per week. I guess I am not addicted, but I love it. The only thing keeping me from becoming addicted is my muffin top! Yikes!

You are a really good puzzle writter! I am impressed.

scrappysue said...

and you know what gave it away? the word CORRODE!!! yuck!!! welcome to angie's blog! we all need an addiction, because we are all flawed! nice to meet you :)

scrappysue said...

and coffee's mine, and lollies (candy) the chewy kind.

Ronda's Rants said...

Just coffee...but I love it!

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Hmm, I have to say all social media is my addiction. And really, what can I do about that?

Deb said...

oh, i guess wrong. i thought surely it was an ode to methamphetamines.

i am not a big soda drinker... not because i am opposed to it, or anything. i just usually drink water. but i drink enough coffee throughout the day to make sure i am caffeinated from dawn till dusk!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I'd have to say that my addiction is coffee with french vanilla creamer in the morning, and vanilla coke in the afternoon... I tell myself I do it in moderation, but alas, the scale doesn't lie... >sigh!< :)

Loved the post! :)

Stephanie said...

Im a dewaholic....its awful, but I cant seem to stop myself... :)

Rhonda said...

Personally, I haven't got a clue. But short of the toilet comment, I found myself suddenly craving chocolate... lol It is my vice.

Following Him said...

My little addition is un sweet iced tea! No cokes in 2.5 years here! What a cool spider web representation too :)
~Elyse~

Mark and Kiss said...

chocolate.
Now that I have been "sugarfree" (no refined sugar) for almost 4 years, I eat grain sweetened chocolate chips by the handful. shameful. yes. With my best efforts, I dont buy it for a few months, then I give in....

Tony@ That One Paticular Harbor said...

That is too funny. I am just a coffee-aholic. Since my days of college having to watch game film every Sunday for hours I became a 2-3 pot a day drinker. Oh my it is now out.. gotta run....love your blog.

Swirl Girl said...

I thought it was blogging...then I saw the picture.

Coca Cola the monkey on your back.

Kimberly said...

I guessed right! :) I am not much of a soda drinker however, my addiction is probably worse for the scale! I love cookies. Give me a cookie and I am a happy girl. We've all got our addictions...even us Mormons! LOL!

Nancy said...

Oh look at you all cool and guest blogging away. I love the caffeinated spider's web. That is awesome!

April said...

I'm not a fan of Coke. My vice is definitely chocolate and Chick Fil-A sweet tea! Heaven on earth!

Sam_I_am said...

I was going to say coffee, but then I checked your blog. I'm definately a cherry-coke head.

Lolli said...

Hey there! Nice to meet you! I am a fellow Mormon, and I loved your ode to Coke. Haha!

T Rex Mom said...

Funny post - one thing is for certain, we all have addictions so we should all be able to relate. I have too many addictions to list. But probably blogging is the worst.

Thanks for sharing.

Natalie said...

let's see...I'm addicted to:
diet pepsi
blogging
hotmail
my cell phone
chapstick
my tivo
chocolate

i may need more help than i thought! guess i better stop listing...

Munchkins and Music said...

I guessed chocolate...hey chocolate has caffine in it too! :) That was a fun post!

Honey Mommy said...

I was going to guess Diet Coke, but I guess you go for the fully leaded version. :o)

Anne said...

Hah! my husband blames me for making him go cold turkey when we got married. After all, mormons don't drink caffine!

greedygrace said...

I too am seriously addicted! I gave up caffeine for Lent-- and I have been a grumpy girl with a splitting headache for the last month! I can't wait for Easter, just so I can feel that sweet deliciousness slipping down my throat!

Lula! said...

When I die, it will be discovered that my blood carries trace amounts of Coca-Cola.

OK, more than trace amounts...like, at least 1/4 Coke. But I only drink 1 a day...one of those mini-cans...the 100 calorie ones. It makes me feel a bit better about myself.

Sigh...I love me some Coke.

girlytwins said...

Haha. I knew exactly what it was as I am also a coke addict. My hubby gives me so much crap about it :)

Very cute post.

Poetry Sue said...

AH HA!! COKE!! I knew it! LMAO

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

welcome - and everyone knows my addiction - Chocolate peanut butter cups!

brunger bunch said...

I am an addict as well!! I saw the same picture of the spider web in article, and felt a little bit guilty...but it only lasted for a day:)

Veggie Mom said...

Starbucks is my addiction, but I gave it up for Lent. This traditional period of fasting before Easter is a GREAT way to give up your addictions!

Live.Love.Eat said...

I had to click to know, couldn't guess on my own. Wow, it must be over 20 years since I had a fully leaded soda. My addiction is coffee but I limit it to just 2 cups a day and no sugar and skim milk. So, it's really not a bad one....

Sarah said...

I can't go more than about ten minutes without chapstick. Apparently your body makes a natural oil to help your lips not be too chapped, but my body hasn't had a chance to produce that on it's own for a good fifteen years or so!

I'm a fan of the Bonne Bell stuff that I started using back in Jr. High.

Great post as always, Tash!

Casey's trio said...

ahhh addictions. Mine are the sweet things...chocolate, cookies, ice cream. Very dangerous!

Minwimm said...

Food network.

I don't think I have gone a day (other than vacation) without it since we got cable.

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

The pictures of the webs really set the tone for addiction. Diet Coke from McD's... the one thing from Ronald's place I cannot live without.

Oooh, and brownies. Definately addicted to brownies.

Misty Rice-Baniewicz said...

Okay so I missed this post and the contest....dang it.

Oh well....

Can you help a girl out .... I need a "tag ling" LOL

Debra said...

Oh I used to be totally addicted to soda. Once the twins were born, I drank a 2 liter a day to stay awake with 5 kids under 7. I did not eat much those first 6 months.

Here's how I did it. DONT go cold turkey. U have to wean off the sugar as well as the caffiene. So buy reg coke and caff free coke. Slowly switch over ie... 1/4 caff free 3/4 reg slowly over a week or two switching to all caff free reg. Then get caff free diet and switch over to that. Then u should be able to quit.

I know we joke about the caffiene and being Mormons, but it really IS hard to break the habit for some of us. Esp moms that are BUSY and need. That jolt!! It took me 3 months to get over my addiction. GOOD LUCK!!