Monday, March 23, 2009

mean girls


(this post brought to you by Jennifer P.--who is not as cute or funny as Angie {insert comment from Angie here-I'm hijacking her guest post-she is WAY cuter, smarter and funnier-TRUST me}, nor does she own a single pair of designer jeans. But heck! You're here already and reading--so you might as well keep on keepin' on....)

AMY W. and MICHELLE M.!!!!!! * (*shouted while shaking my fists at the heavens).

Those are the names of the mean girls in my life. We were all friends in 7th grade--junior high--and wanted nothing more than to be cheerleaders. However, at our school, they wouldn't let you try out for the squad until you were in 8th grade. So, we spent most of our "year of waiting" getting prepared. We went to cheer camp at the gymnastics center. We practiced our dance skills in Michelle's basement, and our jump skills on Amy's trampoline. We watched all the movies involving cheerleaders that we could (most of them featuring cheerleaders getting massacred by chainsaws, but their uniforms were cute!).

Then I came up with ***the*** idea. Why not go back to our old elementary school and ask to lead a 2 hour long 5th grade cheerleading camp? We could teach them everything we knew and continue our practice at the same time.

Amy and Michelle loved the idea.

And the school actually gave us (one 12 year old and two 13 year olds) permission to advertise the activity and to use the playground field after school for the camp (gotta love those pre-insurance waiver form, mid-80's days!).

We planned and planned and planned---making lists of all the cheers we would demonstrate and the types of human pyramids we would build. We choreographed a totally rad dance to Yaz's "Don't Go" to teach them. Fliers were photocopied and hung around the school. 15 girls signed up! We were ready..... and we waited for Thursday at 3:45.

And now the mean part comes in.

Amy and Michelle rounded up all the girls who had signed up and held the camp on....... Wednesday..........without telling me............just because they felt like it.......

I cried for 2 days straight. I would never treat a "friend" like that, and just couldn't wrap my pre-teen brain around the concept of MEAN. My mom hugged me and told me all those things mom's tell their kids to make them feel better ("they're just jealous of you, honey....").

I guess the best revenge was that *I* made cheerleader the next year---junior varsity captain even---and Amy and Michelle.........didn't. neener. neener.

And now it's your turn---shout out the name(s) of the mean girl(s) in your life and I promise you'll feel better -- they're just jealous of you anyway.....
--------------------------
THANKS ANGIE :) ! Get home safely!

80 comments:

blueviolet said...

That's movie plot stuff. Seriously. That's uber mean.

April said...

What a terrific post! Those pre-teen years can be so brutal! I've gone through it a little with my own daughters and I, certainly, experienced it myself. The "mean girl" for me was Kelli and when I moved to "her school", she picked on me constantly! It was very hard, at first, but then I learned how to be strong and to not give her the opportunity to get under my skin.

heyhazelhazel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Life with Kaishon said...

This is so terrible! And so true to life of girls that age, right? The mean girl in my life right now is my 65 year old (or older) boss. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Happy Monday!

Rhonda said...

All those horrible mean girls from junior high have ended up my facebook friends now. They don't remember any of it. Convenient. It's easy to forget, though, if you were not the one suffering.

Mainly it was my entire grade 8 year and I never knew which day I would have friends and which days I would not. They were Donna P, Tonia B, Jackie T. Ugh.

Great post!

Lolli said...

Hi Jennifer! I love your blog, and your stories are always the greatest. As far as mean girls.....I don't know if I I ever had an experience that measures up to that cheerleading one.

Kimberly said...

Oooh! If there is one thing I can't stand, it is MEAN GIRLS!!! Its so awful! I was "lucky" enough to have lots of mean girls in my life in those pre-teen years. YUCK! Great post!

The Pink Potpourri said...

great story. that sounds like something that would happen to me. its amazing how selfish and mean some people can be! ps...can we see some of your cheerleading pics? :)

Lula! said...

I would pay a million billion trillion dollars to see your routine to "Don't Go," as it's my fave by Yaz.

Sigh...Mean Girls...too many to list here. But the meanest was named NOELLE. How can someone with such a lovely name a total sourpuss?

Loved this post, Jennifer!

Tori said...

Angie, way to pick one of my FAVORITE bloggers to kick off your guest blogroll.

Jennifer--how terrible is that!!! I haven't experienced anything like that...a benefit of being homeschooled, perhaps?

♥ Tori

Stu Pidasso said...

I just laugh and smile and say "remember when?"

Cherry Bomb

Stu Pidasso said...

And for the record, the mean "boys" when I was twelve were
Toby Box (federal time for weapons charges) and Royce Hoskins (caught spooning with two men). And I still just laugh and say.....

Ronda's Rants said...

That is sad...and mean and your Mom was right!
I had a very mean girl behave meanly to me...and you know what...I don't even remember her name! I can't believe it because aournd 5th grade...she was all I thought about!
A great life is the best revenge!

Laura said...

How mean! I did have my very own mean girls growing up,I remember their names clearly too. I got the best revenge when High school came along and I was more popular than them...although never mean! Funny thing is I have found all of them or they have found me on facebook. That facebook is a weird thing indeed, love it!

Laura said...

Oh and I forgot to add that I wonder now I am a mother. How did these mother's never know what was going on? I hope I would know, maybe I am naive. I just hope I would know.

Eudae-Mamia said...

Horrible - horrible!!

What makes girls so mean? Mine was Susan K. I actually ran into her about 20 years later in a business meeting. We were deciding whether to take them on as a client - we passed. I cheered :-)

I want to grow up, I really do.

Excellent post. So sad that we can all relate. Em

parentingBYdummies said...

Confession time: I think there is a small (okay, big) possibility that I was one of those mean girls in the 6th grade. There, I said it! Amy, Heather C., and Jenny convinced me to tell Heather B. that I had to cancel my sleepover party b/c I had to go to see my ill grandma, but we really had it without her. But, I'll admit that I felt soooo bad about doing it that I made it a point to never repeat it again. So, I won't shout out the one or two meanies that I encountered in my future, b/c it was probably just karma.

Rachael said...

i have plenty of mean girls to add to this list, my class was full of them. but i spent so long shouting their names that now i have reached a point where i have forgiven them all. its a weird place to be.

Misty Rice-Baniewicz said...

I probably will not win the popularity test by saying what I am about to say. But here it goes anyways...

I too was a cheerleader in school. I tried out several times before that and never made it, all because I was not in that "click". I was in drill team and sports. Mostly a tomboy, wanting to find my girly "cool" activity thing to do like cheer. I liked it because I liked football and I liked building pyramids. {this is the part we have in common}

Anyways, I got tired of drill team, and decided I would give the Mascot (Black Panther) a try. I made it, having tied the slot with a senior. We took turns rotating the games as Mascot. Not long into the season, a girl on the cheer squad was injured and I was the one invited to come up and join in her place. FINALLY.... I was a cheerleader. The year went great and I loved it. Next years to come I tried out and made it.... SURPRISED? I was now part of the "click"....and I say that loosely because I was still the same girl and still hung out with my "cool" friends and my "not so popular" friends. I found a way to balance and enjoy both sides of the "clicks".

And still to this day two of my very true and best friends came from very opposites sides of the "clicks" all those years ago. Both where in my wedding and now both of them really like each other and stay in touch as adults. People change! I love you Tracie and Miranda if you read this.

However, there we several times in which girls that were 'possibly jealous of me and or just simply mean' that did things that hurt my feelings. I remember them like it was last week.

However, it has been almost 2 DECADES ago and to mention their names here TODAY would simply be WRONG and immature. Even worse because we are now in our adult years, not PRE-teens. I say this to not tick anyone off....but in hopes to help others to THINK before they expose anyones name on here. Kids are kids. I am sure my son will do things that will hurt someone and he is 8 years old ( I hope he doesnt) but kids will do things that they all probably wish the didn't do now. I would hate for his choices as a child to still haunt him as an adult.

The people any of you mention may be the sweetest loving people today...so it would be totally unfair to ever embarrass them in this post or in these comments.

Besides, don't you forgive? Forgiveness means to forget and move on. By shouting out names YOU are allowing those MEAN girls to still WIN and HURT YOU. I say this to to all that want to shout out names here today. Be better and bigger. Because if you don't, you are allowing YOURSELF to stay locked up in that hurt and bitter feelings towards those girls. Not them! They were just "mean kids"...

I hope I don't upset anyone by speaking so forward and that I don't get hate response.

Although you may only post FIRST names with Last name initials.... its a VERY small world and so I am sure someone is bound to know who these girls are and or those girls may happen to read the same blogs as you.... having MORE in common today as adults than one might imagine.

God Bless....

The best part of this post was that SHE made the cheer squad and they didn't... I would have left it at that and it still would have been a fun post to read without names!

Just ones opinion!!!

I only write in hopes to encourage others to think before exposing anyone.... PEOPLE CHANGE.

Kelly Deneen said...

WOW!! What a crazy and utterly MEAN thing to do!!!! I have never experienced anything like that. I hovered between the popular kids and the not so popular kids. I can't really think of anyone who was particularly mean to me (aside from one bullying incident in early elementary). I am just lucky I guess.

I'm just me... said...

Mean girls suck!!! I dealt with my share growing up. It started in kindergarten when the girls all ignored me, I had to play with the boys every day. Maybe I should homeschool my little one instead of submitting her to the mean girls next year at preschool.

I'm just me... said...

Mean girls suck!!! I dealt with my share growing up. It started in kindergarten when the girls all ignored me, I had to play with the boys every day. Maybe I should homeschool my little one instead of submitting her to the mean girls next year at preschool.

Brenda said...

I am expecting to see my name here. . . I think I was the mean one. No particular names come to mind, and yes, I was a cheerleader.

'T' said...

I've let it go and forgiven... hee hee-- of the mean girl in my 5th grade life... BUT ha ha ha I still say to myself when mean women come around "they're just intimidated by you and are jealous" -i don't know of what, it's not my body or car!- but I still use this as an excuse to survive interesting and mean women!

Summer Miller said...

Wow Jen, I don't remember that part of your life. I do however remember being pretty jealous that you could do flips and I couldn't even do a somersault. If it makes you feel better I never liked them!

Simply AnonyMom said...

Sneaking in a quick read of my google reader and I had to comment. I had best friends and I would walk out of the way to go walk to school with them. School was a mile away but going to their house and to school was 1.5 miles. They started not being there and I thought I was walking slow. It took me 2 months of showing up EVERY DAY and them "just missing" before the grandmother told me "Sweetheart, you are not cool enough. Jenni doesn't want to be seen with you".

So 20 years later I SCREAM their names: JENNI M! NICOLE C! LESLIE B!

Oh and when I moved my sophomore year it was "The Kelly's" like the Heathers from the movie, but country hick girls.

Thank you for letting me get this out. I need to go back inside now and stop sharing broadband from the neighbor now...

"FINE"al thoughts... said...

Can you believe I am (ahem) 30 years-old and to this day am dealing with a 'mean girl' as of late? Do some women never grow up? Nice post Jennifer P. Hope you're having fun wherever you are, the both of you!

Clint and Mary said...

What a great post! I think we can all relate! One time I went to a sleep over in 7th grade. I showed up with my my sleeping bag and everything! I was probably there for about 30 minutes and the girl hosting told me that there wasn't enough room for me and that I should go home. Her mom was even involved and told me the same thing. So I called my Mom and even sat on the front porch alone with all of my stuff until my mom got there...I cried all night. Later I found out that some boys came over after I left and they were allowed to sleep over. This mom was trying to be the "cool mom"...and I guess the girls didn't want me there b/c they knew the boys were coming and for whatever reason didn't want me to be a part of it...and now I am so glad I wasn't!

Kathy B! said...

Mean girls are the worst. As the mother of four sweet girls, I am scared to death of this phase of life... I was tortured in middle school, and I think I still hold back with new people today as a result.

T Rex Mom said...

Great posting - I think so many of us can relate to this. My list is too long to share but they were all girls I cheered with. One kept stealing my megaphone and switching it with hers and saying hers was mine. Kind of hard to do that when my initials were written on it. I learned early to pick my battles. So glad you made the squad and they did not! I'm impressed with your drive to be successful!

Sharon said...

Wow!! That was mean! Junior High is the worst time in a girls life and my little girl will start next fall. I hope she doesn't encounter any of these mean girls.

Amy said...

Oh Jennifer I was not a nerd with big hands, Erin you did not have to be so rude and want to compete with me all of the time we were suppose to be friends.

Oh I feel better. Great post. Angie will be proud.

Lora said...

you know what's funny? The "mean girls" in my life have all requested to be my friend on facebook, and enough time has passed that we're not stuck back in the awful stuff we all did to each other way back when.

:0)

Lora said...

(ps, from the comments above me I think it's safe to say...don't cheer in middle/high school! lol)

themorrisbunch said...

Oh. I was not allowed to be a cheerleader, my mom wouldn't me or my sister even think about trying out.
Besides you had to be "in"...and I personally know a super nice cheerleader who reads Jennifer's Blog. :)
Anyway, it was not a girl who I remember as mean. It was a boy, and ex actually, who still gives me nightmares and enters my life without warning...regularly. Aren't ex's supposed to go away...epecially after you were married?
ugh.
Everyone thinks this guy is a "nice guy", but I could tell them stories that would make their toes curl...
gah.

Sam_I_am said...

Christina M. She made my first year in Junior High miserable. She was an uneducated skank who thought that I was "lookin" at her. Ironically, someone had to tap my arm and get my attention so that she could tell me to stop "lookin'" I ended up at the same table as her friend, Jenn in Spanish class and her friend like me and told her if she didn't leave me alone, she'd kick her ass and she could do it.

Swirl Girl said...

Yo! EVERYONE FROM EVERYSCHOOL!
YOU SUCK! Look at you now - teen pregnant, divorced, tattood, still scuzzy!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

phew - that felt good!

meandmom said...

I don't know what's worse....the mean girls that plagued me when I was in middle school or the mean girls that are plaguing my daughter now that she is in middle school!

Another great post Jen!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

That's awesome that you made the squad and they didn't! That was so mean!

I don't remember anyone really. There were a few bitches along the way but no one that really picked on me.

The Blonde Duck said...

That is really harsh. That's just tacky and downright MEAN!

brunger bunch said...

love that post!! I think it totally helps to vent feelings of frustration, even though it has been so, so many years ago. Funny thing though, not always, but usually they get what they deserve:)

Lace said...

THAT. IS. AWFUL! What little biotches! Karma nipped them in the booty though!

Sarahlcc♥ said...

And they didn't make the squad, 'what goes around, comes around.' Mean girls, yes, I mostly tried to pretend they weren't there.

sassy stephanie said...

So, did you eventually make up?

I can't really say I had any mean girls growing up. Nobody comes to mind.

Becky said...

MEAN GIRL IN 11TH GRADE, I SHAKE MY FISTS AT YOU!!! Great post Jennifer, loved it. The fabulous thing about time is I've already forgotten the name of the nasty girl who wronged me.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Great post! Like blueviolet said, that's movie plot stuff for sure... ;)

I knew two 'mean girls' in high school, but somehow we ended up being friends - after I got voted Homecoming Princess in our Jr. Year (when I expected one of them to be voted that, certainly not me...) I guess they decided I was all right after all because they stopped being mean to me after that... ;)

Poetry Sue said...

DORIA!!!!!

man she was mean... she lied to my boyfriends to steal them away.. after highschool she moved in with me and never paid rent in the entore 9 months we lived there!!

Aubrey said...

Girls are SO mean! Sometimes I can't believe it. Unfortunately, it seems so much worse now days. So I'm giving a shout out to the mean girls my daughter has to deal with these days.

Baylee & Amy & Jade...DAMN YOU!

Veggie Mom said...

I left the Mean Girls in my life behind quite a while ago...but I can think of a few Mean Women, whom I come in contact with every darn day. Can't name names, though, to protect the innocent...that would be moi!

mommaof4wife2r said...

mean girls {the movie} rock! i love it!

as for real life mean girls...i guess i didn't let anyone get too into my head. if i did, i don't remember.

kathy said...

Wow! That's horrible for a young teen to go through! But Yay! for you on making captain! I have a couple mean girls from my child hood but I don't remember their names. That's how important they were. ;)

Natalie said...

BROOKE!!!! She was the one that made fun of me all through elementary school. She didn't make our HS reunion because she was in drug rehab. Guess she should have been nicer and might have made some better friends!

great post.

Tiffany said...

Ilissa. She tortured me in elementary school.. but, payback was sweet... let's just say the high school years were better to me than to her... muuuuhahahahaha.

BoufMom9 said...

Fun post and that was certainly really mean!

I would LOVE to shout out there names, but they read blogs and are still mean :(

Jocasta said...

Layla B!

Still mean and totally hates me! I doubt she will ever read this as I'm unsure she can read - time does not heal all wounds!

Brian and Staci said...

You are sooo cute Jennifer P.!!! And YAY for making cheerleader :)

scrappysue said...

suzanne gise, and pietta can't remember her last name and june mcilraith. they were not only mean, they went on to set the girls toilets on fire, or flood them. either way, they were bad news. one of them had bad excema - i can't help but think that was the universe's way of saying 'don't be so bad!!!' i wonder what happened to them

Katy said...

That's a yucky story...those stupid girls...girls can be so dang mean.
Lindsay is who popped into my head when I think of MEAN!

Jennifer P. said...

For anyone who is reading and cares to know---yes Amy, Michelle, and I eventually did make up. I didn't keep them as good friends any more because I decided from that experience that those weren't the kinds of friends I wanted to be really close to, but we got along alright. One of them is my Facebook friend today. And I've always been quick to forgive and (mostly) forget---except when it makes good blog fodder :).

Following Him said...

I may be the only one...but from 9th-12th grade, I had a boy give me heck! Seriously made my life miserable...Austin...will never ever get me down anymore!
This was a great post!
~Elyse~

Ashley said...

Okay - this is bad - but you know a lot of those mean girls actually grow up to accomplish nothing much at all. When I find out they have failed out of school or something else that doesn't scream "I'm the best" - I kinda am a little happy. Not that I would wish something bad on people, but those mean girls often times feel entitled to things. It is nice to see 'average' girls grow up and be beautiful and successful.

Emily said...

ugh to the mean girls... some people are selfish and only care about themselvs and do that kind of stuff because they are insecure.. boo to them!

Susie said...

I love Jennifer P!! Great guest writer.

I would shout out that ALL the cheerleaders in middle school were my mean girls!! (Even though I am trying to be more positive this year:-)

Joy said...

It would be just my luck to cyber-run into someone that I might name but suffice it to say I can totally relate.

girlytwins said...

Ouch. That is seriously mean. I had two friends I had issues with in high school although I never had anything happen that mean before. My mom always said the three friends is never a good start. Wow. I am still flabbergasted by this story.

koopermom said...

Ugh. I guess I can be classified as being on both ends of the mean girl. I have cried and also made others cry! Stupid mean girls!!!

Casey's trio said...

Now that is a tragic event in the life of a 7th/8th grader! Never had anything crazy mean like that happen to me....just stupid fights over boys! Great guest post:)

Live.Love.Eat said...

Wow, it is really hard to believe that people can be that mean, especially at that age!

skoots1mom said...

teen age time is so tough...good post!

Kathleen W. said...

Ooh! What a great post! It's like writing a letter to the mean girls and burning it...

I'll bet they were jealous of you because you were better and probably nicer, and they knew the little girls would look up to you.

My mean girls were my cousin, Carey and Heather (it was always a Heather in my school).

Jennifer said...

Awesome post! Thankfully I never experienced anything such as this. Teenage years are hard.

Robyn :) said...

Cassandra and a couple others whose names escape me. Not sure what their problem with me was!!

And Angela. Again, not sure what I did LOL!!

Honey Mommy said...

There weren't too many girls who were mean to me, but there were a bunch of guys I could have done without. Like Aaron... I'll never forget that jerk!

CanCan (Mom Most Traveled) said...

JENNIFER H.! (shaking fist at the heavens) FOR THE LAST TIME, I DO NOT HAVE A MUSTACHE! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!

There. I feel better.

Jenners said...

Piggy and Pizzaface!
I'll never forgive what you did to me, you bastards.

that felt great.
What a bunch of awful awful girls.

Bonnie the Boss said...

That is so mean!!!! I had some friends who were super mean in highschool. I am so glad you made the team and they didn't!

Kaylan said...

Glad u made the team atleast! i can remember a few mean guys, and girls from 5th-7th grade... All I can say is learn Experience! It stinks dealing w/ them, but that's part of growing up and knowing that not all people are going to be nice.

The ones that bullied me I later learned ,as I was older and was able to understand, were in very broken and unhappy homes-- being mean and picking on people was what they were seeing at home daily. It's so sad what kids pick up... and unfortunately pass on to other kids.

No names needed tho! I hope they've all grown out of that meanness... who knows! :)

Great guest blog! Even tho it brought up some repressed memories! haha! J/K!

Mark and Kiss said...

sad

Anne said...

Yeah Erin Z. "so called" best friend, the very last straw was not coming to my wedding. But i'm glad thats over!

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

OMG - I LOVED this post - more so b/c I was a cheerleader too!! ANd I made the squad JV squad as captain also! And went on to be a cheerleader for all 4 years of high school!!!!!!

I can't really remember any girls being out and out mean to me - I would say it was more the boys who were shits!