Monday, June 25, 2007

I've changed my title....

What do you think? I tried to make it more cohesive since my URL address is angiescircus. Somehow it seems to fall flat, or maybe just a little corny, but, I guess really, who cares?

It's 2 a.m. and I've been laying in bed for over 3 hours trying to sleep. I'm plagued with restless legs. Some say it's a real affliction, some say it's bunk. I don't know what is going on, maybe I have some rare form of hypochondriasm that manifested it's self tonight in my legs. ha ha. But seriously, I haven't experienced this since I was pregnant (don't even think it. I'm not)....with every pregnancy. With the twins it seemed particularly bad though. While I was in the hospital the babies heartrates were monitored 24/7. At around 9 to 11 p.m. the boys had a wake cycle and would go wild. Literally. You should have heard the noise coming from the machine and of course they were impossible to keep on the monitors continuously so the nurses were always in and out. Pulling, tugging, adding more gel, chafing my already rashed out stomach, making me want to scream. Then, as soon as the babies would settle down and it was time for me to settle down and go to sleep, I couldn't because of my legs. I wanted to go to sleep, needed to go to sleep but just couldn't. I would lay in my dark room and want to cry. With the touch of a button on my bed I'd turn on the lights, turn them off again, back and forth, back and forth. I wanted the day to be over and for it to be that much closer to my delivery date. I was lonely at night and missed my family and I just wanted to get up and walk...all the way home, but couldn't. My legs moving, moving as little as possible, but much more than necessary because I couldn't stop them. Trying not to move anything else because I didn't want mess up the monitors. Eventually my legs would calm down and I'd almost drift off to sleep. Then my back would start to ache and I'd have to pee for the 75th time. And I'd put on my glasses and look at the clock hoping it was almost morning. But it never was. And every 30 minutes I'd put my glasses back on and look at the clock and hope it was closer to morning than it really was. And then, eventually as with every day, the sun came out. And I'd get my 15 minute shower and it would be like stepping into a whole new world.

Writing this post has been therapeutic because I feel ready to sleep. Despite having really long nights, I still look back on the 10 weeks I was hospitalized with GOOD memories and I'd do it again in a heartbeat because my twinnies fill me up.

11 comments:

Debra said...

Angie, I hope you were able to finally fall asleep. My MIL suffers from Restless Leg Syndrome. She said exercising really helps her legs settle down more at night. (Probably NOT something you wanted to hear! LOL) Have you had it checked out yet? You need your sleep!!!

I like your new title!! I changed mine a couple of months ago. It is the title to my family's "Theme" song by Phil Vassar "Just Another Day in paradise" You can hear the song on my MySpace page at www.myspace.com/thecryercrew.com

Laura said...

Angie,
I like the new title. I had restless legs with my twins too and it was terrible! I have no doubt it is real. It would often keep my up all night,ahhh! I have only had it once or twice since then and it is miserable! Reading what you went through with those twins is amazing! You are one amazing mother, and person!!!

The Pruetz Family said...

Ugh -- restless leg is such a real problem!. Anyone who says it's bunk needs to have their head examined.

I had it with the twins, too, and hospitalization was the worst part of it -- mostly because I was confined and away from home. There is medication out there for it now. Maybe you should look into it.

Doug & Stacy Fournier said...

i have to say that i often suffer from restless leg syndrome. mine used to only be when i was pregnant as well, but since the twins it has not gone away. i don't have it often, but when i get it, it's horrible. i just suffer with it, i have never gone to the dr.s for it. i always wondered myself if it is a "real" thing. anyway, i love the new title, very catchy :) i hope you have a greta week. i'm glad you got some quiet time to read. what is that like anyway??? LOL :)

Heather said...

Love the new title. Awesome. Have to be honest, huge fan of pharmaceuticals for sleeping. Yep, no problem. Try something!

Casey's trio said...

I like the new title as well! So sorry to hear about your restless legs. My grandmother used to suffer from it...I want to say she had medication for it when it was really bad, but I might be remembering wrong.

Laura said...

I know you MUST know about the medication for this... after all with Jeff's line of work. My brother in law sells Ambien. I haven't tried it but I have heard it is really good stuff!

Kristin said...

I had RLS with Ella. Drove me nuts. I'd get up as soon as it was light enough to see, and go work in my garden. Figured it was better than laying awake, wishing I could sleep. I have tried Ambien, it's wonderful, but I'm not a fan of pills to do what should come naturally. Let me know if you find something that works, I'm sure I'll need it next pregnancy.

Casey's trio said...

Angie,

I know Lindsay will be able to create something really great for your page...I can't wait to see what you 2 come up with! She is very easy to work with also.

Ohhh reading....how I love it so! At most, I am able to sneak in 15-30 mintues before going to bed at night. I usually don't read while the girls nap because then I get sleepy and by that time they're ready to wake up and I'm dragging! I know it will get better as they get older though.
Some of my favorites that I can think of off the top of my head are Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen; I know this much is true by Wally Lamb; Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden (books are always better than the movies)!
Glad I found another book lover to get recommendations from:)

Brooke said...

Hope you are sleeping better these days. I hate not being able to sleep and it happens to me all the time now. I too take to the computer when the zzzz's don't come. At least you are being productive.

Claremont First Ward said...

thanks everyone for your comments. Luckily, the RLS was isolated to that night and I've been able to sleep! :)