Hot Tip #1 & #2

I've decided to start a strand of posts with hot tips. I first got the idea about a week ago when I read about a hot shopping tip that blew me out of the water. Apparently, any day that ends in "y" can be a bargain day. So I thought I'd come up with with some good ones of my own.

Hot Tip #1:
If you don't feel like feeding your kids dinner, tell them to sit down at the counter and wait while you make it. See what happens. You might not have to make dinner after all.
Hot Tip #2:
Feeling like your clean clothes need a change? More color? Fragrance? Absentmindedly pick up roaming toddler who you haven't noticed isn't wearing a diaper after taking care of business and just see if you don't have an addition to your clothes.

Thought for the week

Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind.

-Daphne Du Maurier in Rebecca

Shoes and personality

I've read that you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes. What do my shoes tell you?

My shoes just happenned to be out (but not arranged like this) as the trim in my closet is on the docket to be painted sometime in the next few weeks. So, what do my shoes say about me? First of all, they scream conservative. I have a dirth of color in my shoe litter. One whopping pair that are not black or brown (with the exception of my tennis shoes). Also, is it obvious that am not a shoe collector? I have just enough shoes to serve their purpose and not be an embarrassment to my family. I've heard shoe collectors say they collect shoes because unlike clothes they always fit. I must have special feet because all shoes of the right size do not fit. Maybe you'll notice that my bare foot is included. This is my most popular foot apparel. I guess when it comes right down to it, I just don't like shoes-to wear. I really am a great admirer of shoes. Anyway, most of the time I go barefoot. If I'm going somewhere that requires shoes, they come off the second I get home. Here's the funny part. I've been told on more than one occasion by more than one person that I have really ugly feet. So ugly for normal feet in fact that that it's surprising that I don't try to cover them up. I've never been offended. I don't think they are lovely feet, but I don't think they are that bad either. Who cares if they look like I ran into a brick wall? Keep your feet clean, do what you can to make them look nice, but if there's no changing what you were given, why give it a second thought? What would it say about me if I really did care about whether I have great looking feet or not?

NINE years

Today Jeff and I have been married nine years. I can't believe it. I was thinking about all the things we've done since we've been married, and we've accomplished a lot!
We've:
-graduated from college. Jeff earned his Doctorate of Pharmacy degree, I earned by Bachelors of Arts degree.
-moved 5 times
-bought 3 homes
-lived in 3 states
-been to the Bahamas, Hawaii and St. Martin
-driven across the United States. Twice
-Driven up and down the east coast. 3 times.
-Driven up and down the west coast. More than 3 times.
-had 5 children

Jeff has:
-hiked to the top of Mt. Katahdin
-passed his boards and worked in lots of Pharmacies
-become a daddy 5 times over
-been a "single" daddy for over 2 months!

I know Jeff loves me because he's stuck with me when I've:
-been pregnant a total of 34 months
-lactated for 50 months
-gained and lost approximately 165 lbs.
-had 3 surgeries, sadly none of which were cosmetic

A quote that struck me today:

Our happiness depends on ourselves, on the calm and equal state of our own minds and not on the versatile conduct of others.
-Mercy Otis Warren

601 & 602

The twins have been climbing up on the counter for about a month now. About 20 times a day. So I figure these shots capture about the 601st and 602nd times I've caught them in the act. They've finally found something they never tire of and I can't be more pleased. I mean, who doesn't want their babies climbing on everything in sight? And look at how much fun it is.......every single time.....

John
Jacob

Breaking news........

The bargain shopper in me perked up when I saw this headline on my Yahoo welcome page:
"BEST TIMES TO SHOP"
I clicked on the article and found this incredible advice:

Thanks to online coupons, price-comparison search engines and reward memberships, savvy shoppers can pay less than full price on any day that ends in "y."

I'm totally cracking up. Thanks for the heads up!

I DETEST the smell of that flower

I made a promise to myself that I would try to write more. More meaningful things. Things that define who I am. But how to find the time? And where? I decided here is as good a place as any. This post is a memory. A vivid yet blurry image that will seem disjointed to those that don't know me, but that's OK, because what's important is that I write what I'm thinking about right now.

The smell of that flower actually makes me physically ill. It reminds me of the time I had to say goodbye to everything I had known up until that point.

I remember standing there, seeing all this white. Nurse after nurse after nurse in their traditional uniforms. White dresses, white tights, white shoes and those hats that just make you feel like you are being taken care of. All coming to give their last respects to that imposter in the casket. I didn't know why I had to stand there and endure one more person looking at me with those watery sad eyes like they knew something I didn't. Couldn't they see that that woman looked nothing like my mom? It just couldn't possibly be. It just couldn't. It was all a mistake. And why did they keep asking me if I wanted to touch her? Why would I want to touch someone I don't even know? Who is DEAD? What do all of those weird faces mean? Is that what grief looks like?

Grief looked like the little girl who finally realized that that woman really WAS her mom and that she had to say goodbye. And the smell of that flower was stifling.

When they stop needing me

Will I know? Or will it be so gradual I won't even notice? If I do notice, will it break my heart? I think so. My whole life is centered around taking care of my children and husband, although to his credit he doesn't need much taking care of. There is something very comforting knowing that my family needs me. That I play a key role in our family dynamics and that even though much of what I do is inconsequencial, the most important thing I do can be monumental. I've been thinking about when their very existence doesn't rely so heavily upon me....what will I do then? Who will I be?

Of course memories of my mom are all wrapped around in these thoughts. When did I stop needing her? Not wanting her, not longing to have her hug me, but needing her. She used to come to me (at least in mind) when I needed her most. I'd feel her presence. The weight of the air seemed to change and time escaped too quickly. But it was like she knew that I needed to know she was still there, even if she really wasn't. It was always comforting but later also discomfitting. Was what I felt real? And if so, why did she have to leave? Why couldn't I remember anymore the tone of her voice or the combination of scents that made up her smell? Why couldn't she speak to me and tell me what I needed to hear?

I don't remember when I stopped needing her, but I think it was around the time I got married. I was learning after all that time to stand on my own two feet and I had Jeff to lean on. Then I began having children and they began needing me for their very existence and I don't think I had time anymore to need her in the way I had my whole life. The need became more of a longing for what I'd missed, and sadness that my children would only have photographs and little stories I told them to remind them that I had a mom. I was sad for what I couldn't have yet others could. An acceptance has come that even though physically she was only my mom for 8 short years, she has fulfilled her motherly duty even if it is in spirit.

Did she notice when I became stronger and more capable? I think so. Was she sad that my need lessened or happy that I was becoming more independant? I don't know, but I hope that when my children stop needing me, they'll still want me, just as I still want my mom.

They've hit that age

when they think diapers are negotiable. Why wear them when you can take them off yourself and enjoy a much less encumbered existence?

Let there be frogs

Finally, some of the tadpoles have turned into teeny tiny frogs. Who says learning doesn't occur over summer break? Back yard science project, COMPLETE.

Whose Who?

People always ask me how we tell the twins apart. The only sure physical difference is that their callicks swirl in different directions. Jacob's goes right, John's left. Everyone wants to know how I tell them apart though aside from the callicks (which I've never used as a guide, by the way). That's easy. They have totally different facial expressions. Can you guess who is who?

"show me your eyes"
"give me a smile"

"where is your nose?"

"what are you doing?"

Do you think you can guess? Answers in the comments section!

Because I have a sick sense of humor

I have to post my last (meaning I won't post anymore) eye pictures. You have to admit they DO look better! And, I'm getting so attached to my goggles I'm thinking of making them a part of my regular apparel. :)

For some reason I found this so funny, and I keep hearing the conversation in my mind and crack up. Have you ever seen the movie 13 Going on 30? Well there is this scene where Jennifer Garner wears chopsticks in her hair to go to a party. I'm bringing this up so that you can visualize Grace's hair when I tell this story. Grace spent all this time getting her hair just right. Braids rolled into buns at the end held in place on each side with a set of chopsticks. She was really pleased with her hair and said to Emma, "Doesn't my hair look beautiful?" Emma replied, "Um, well, you have these big X's all over your head and it looks like you have horns". Grace did NOT appreciate it when I laughed out loud and therefore refused a photo. Darn!

The New ME

What do you think? (double click on the picture to get a better look at my eyes)

The good news is that this morning my vision was 20/40. It was 20/800 before the surgery. The bad news is that I have some striae on my right eye. That's wrinkling like stretch marks caused by inflamation. If they haven't improved by Monday I'll have to have my flap lifted again and smoothed down. Chances of this happening? Slim.

less than 1-2% Chances of having multiple suction problems during surgery? Pretty uncommon. I like to play those 1-2% odds though. Look at the twins. Only 1-2% of twins are monoamiotic.

ADDENDUM:

The surgeon called this afternoon and expressed concern over my eyes. So, back to the Operating Room I went. He lifted my corneal flap and resmoothed it. This time they gave me twice as much valium and it really helped. I don't have the post-op pain this time, just a little discomfort and of course I'm a little doped up. He said that during my initial surgery my eyes were numb. But, I don't believe him. If he's right then I'm the BIGGEST baby on the planet. And, if that's true, I'm not willing to admit it. Oh, and my left eye was 20/20 this evening!

ADDENDUM #2: This morning my right eye was 20/20, and the procedure was successful last night. There are no longer wrinkles in my field of vision. If you can believe it, my eyes actually look worse today, but they feel better! The doctor did concede that the blood in the whites of my eyes is particularly bad in comparison to most Lasik patients, but it's superficial like a bruise and will go away.

The Surgery was...........

terrible. Worse than terrible. I expected some discomfort, some pressure. What I experienced was PAIN. It appears that the numbing drops did not work the magic they were supposed to. The 20 minute procedure took over an hour because they kept loosing suction. The surgeon said it was because I was involuntarily clenching my eyes. Hum.....could that have been because it hurt so bad? When Jeff picked me up I burst into tears and said I wish I hadn't had it done. It was that bad. And all those stories I'd heard about instantly seeing perfectly? Not me. BUT, now I feel much better, my vision is improving and I'm looking forward to seeing how much my vision has improved tomorrow.

It's a GO!-scratch that!

At least I think so. I was really worried yesterday that I'd have to cancel my surgery today when Jacob woke up with a fever and goopy, pink eyes. I took him to Urgent care to get a Rx for his eyes in the morning, and by the afternoon his fever spiked at 104.5 degrees, but hovered around 103.5 for most of the day. Poor little guy was feeling terrible and absolutely hates his eye drops. So, yesterday it was just me and the twins in isolation and I kept wondering and wondering about today. However, I called the Eye Center this morning and as long as my eyes are clear during the pre-op exam my surgery is a go....
the surgeon just called and unless I can get someone to watch Jacob through the weekend (don't know how I'll arrange that) I'll have to wait like another month for surgery.

Happy 4th!

Happy Independence Day!

Grace, Emma, John, Garrett, Jacob



John, Garrett, Jacob

Hope you have a fantabulous day!

Let it be duly noted....

I'm feeling pretty capable. All of Jeff's siblings except one and their families are in one city at one time. That makes 17 children 10 years of age and under, and 9 adults including spouses. In my house alone there are 10 kids and 4 adults. And you know what? Things are going smoothly and we're having a good time. The kids are in HEAVEN playing together with their cousins. Fun times full speed ahead.

Some of my favorite THINGS.....

Many of you know that the main purpose of my blog is to journal whatever strikes my fancy that day. A few of my friends have done "favorites" pages, and I've enjoyed them so much that I've added one of my own:


Designer jeans. I wasn't a believer until I owned some. The jeans wearing population would look a whole lot better if everyone found a pair of jeans that fit really well. My favorites are a wide leg jean, and a close fitting one. And in case anyone is wondering, I think pencil jeans are the most successful way this decade to make people look ridiculous.
I bought a pair of wedge sandals this season and have loved wearing them. They are comfortable, but most importantly they look really cute with jeans. I've gotten into the habit of wearing flat shoes since heals can be an occupational hazzard in my line of business (ha), but I miss the dressed up feeling that cute shoes can bring to an outfit.

If I didn't have a high capacity washer and dryer, I'd probably shoot myself. These are such a time saver for me and I am SO thankful for them. The thought of doing laundry by hand actually makes me sick to my stomach!

My 8 lb. vacuum. Makes clean ups on hard floors and carpet alike a breeze.

Instant hot water. Twist a knob and boiling water instantly shoots out. LOVE it.