Friday, June 22, 2007

Conversations in my head..

Lately I've noticed I've thought of past conversations or situations that have had such an impact that they filter through my consciousness every now and then. I wonder if those thoughts affected the other person they way they effected me. One conversation in particular keeps running through my head. I said something to my dad that wasn't nice and at the time got about two seconds of satisfaction out of knowing that what I said was hurtful and seemingly got an emotional response out of him. I think about that time (it was terrible for me) and wonder if he even remembers? This is just an example of these stream of thoughts that have been going through my mind....what we say and do certainly effects us as well as those around us, but how do we know until it's too late which ones are monumental? And further more, ever wonder why something is monumental to one and not another? Hummm....

4 comments:

Laura said...

This is interesting and proves that you are truly a thoughtful and sensitive person. I don't think all people think about everything that much. I am a very analytical person and it served me well when I was pregnant with my twins. I became engrossed in learning about their medical situation and fighting for their care. Yet in other situations I drive myself nuts thinking about things I have said or done, or not done... and to be honest I know many if not all of those people never think about it again. You and I are very alike in that respect I think. Sometimes I wish I did not "think" about everything so much.

Heather said...

Oh man, that is so weird that you say that. I constantly think about something I said to my mom once when I was in college and I was stressed and freaking out. To this day it has haunted me. I'm so embarrassed that I said it that I can't actually apologize, because if by chance she doesn't remember, I don't want to remind her! Oh how we torture ourselves!

AZ said...

I wish I didn't think about everything so much either, Laura. It does mess with your head sometimes. But at other times I've found thinking about past conversations to be cathartic. At the time they were just hurtful or stinging, but when they now pop into my head I look at them in a completely different way.

Debra said...

I agree with your post and everyone's comments. Sometimes I feel like I think way too much about these things. I am glad it is not just me.

On my mission there was a time my companion and I were sitting in our car waiting for an appt when a girl walked by. I felt prompted to go start talking to her, but I talked myself out of it. To this day, I think about my conversation with myself and about the situation and if I would have followed the prompting how different her life might have been. And then I think, that girl probably never even saw me, and does not even remember, and here I am 15 years later STILL thinking about it!! Sometimes I wish my brain came with a switch I could turn off at night. hehe