*NOTE: Please excuse the second Mr. Linky. I think he has a crush on me because he mysteriously sent me another one. It must be. There's no other explanation. I might just have to give him a call tomorrow. Until then, Mr. Linky.....
Remember how I told you some topics always scream a particular name to me? And loudly? Todays prompt from Mama Kat involves writing a letter to someone I miss greatly.
One name always comes to mind, and always will.
It still bothers me that the interruption of our lives together was forced. I'm still a tad
bitter sad that I haven't been able to talk to you face to face or feel your arms around me for 25 years.
I used to be really angry at you for going away, even though I know it wasn't your fault. I got tired of blaming JUST him, so I blamed you, too. After all, you did marry him. I was being hateful though. I just wanted the hurt to end, and in a warped way, I wanted everyone to hurt a little bit too. I just didn't think it was fair that I had to ache that way. Why me? Why not everyone else?
I consider now having what happened to you happen to me. To have my life cut short without my consent in an awful way and I shudder. I think that if that happened to me, my last agony-filled thoughts would be about my children and what would happen to them. I think the pain of knowing I wouldn't be raising them would be more painful than the physical onslaught.
The first 8 years of my life were the best of my childhood. I'm thankful I got to share them with you.
I wish more than anything that my children could share their childhoods' with you, too. I'm thankful that I've always felt your love, even when you were gone, and that my children somehow do too.
But I still miss you and wish you were here, too.
Love Always and Forever,
I don't know about you, but I *heart*, I mean absolutely *heart* homemade cards. The Pink Potpourri is hosting a giveaway of Casey's Stationary. You'll really want to check out the designs. I totally want to win this one.
New to blogging and want a few tips? Mannequin of Fractured Toy compiled a list that is sure to help you out or give you ideas.
Like photography that has not been edited or manipulated in any way (shot by an internationally published photographer)? Or links to a variety of excellent blog posts that the blog author has selected each week? Then head over to authorblog for a peek.
Angie of Bloom is having her first ever giveaway this weekend. It ends today though, so you'll have to hurry over to enter to win her handmade purse.
Dare I write one more post about John and how I almost lost him and possibly Jacob too? The prompt, "write about a heart that wouldn't quit" screams John to me. Loudly. But, I think if I tell that story again I'll lose half my readers. So, if you are new and really interested, go here.
Instead I'm going to tell you about the recurring nightmare that haunted my childhood. Literally. My sister can attest to the fact that it terrified me on a regular basis and caused some uncomfortable nights because I would climb into bed with her. And yes, it was a twin sized bed.
I know the nightmare was short, because I can recall every detail, yet when I was sleeping it seemed like it lasted an eternity. It was always the same. Always.
The man that chased me from window to window and door to door always had the same expression on his face and always arrived at the window or door the same time that I did.
He liked to toy with me, and allowed me to shut and lock the window or door before racing to the next one.
I was inside. He was out, and I was feverish in my desire to lock him out permanently. I knew that he could only bring harm.
I ran and ran. My heart worked overtime. Fear alternately paralyzed me and pushed me on.
And then, after I had shut and locked every window (seeing his face in the pane every time) and was at the last door, right before what I knew was going to be my ultimate death, I woke up.
Even knowing the ending in advance never made it less scary.
I haven't had the dream in years. Thank goodness.
I'm pretty sure that I can pinpoint exactly what caused this recurring dream.
Like puzzles? Go here (number 6) and here and here and see if the pieces paint a picture for you, too.
Wanna read more? Go to the hub (as in the site of origination for the Writers Workshops, Mama Kat) and branch out from there.